Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
