We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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