I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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