Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
