Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
