Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
