so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
