I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
