guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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