Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
