are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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