As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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