Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
These tits shall not be calmed
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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