Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
