thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
