the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
