buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
