you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
