what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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