I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
