your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
