I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
