after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize