We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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