yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
