If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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