Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
