I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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