p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
