is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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