Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
