I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
