can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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