Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
