i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
