He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
