I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
