well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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