Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
