i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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