I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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