you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
