I think my fart just growled at me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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