Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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