Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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