that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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