alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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