dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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