Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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