Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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