i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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