I seem to have left my pride at pride
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
