you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
