Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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