I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's blow job season.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
