And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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