batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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