Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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