the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
