at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
