this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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