I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
