Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
